CeDAR Connects Alumni Newsletter

October 31st, 2023 | Volume 26

Well, after nearly 7 1/2 years at CeDAR, I have resigned with my last day being Friday, November 3rd. For the last few weeks I have been sharing the news on different platforms, however I have had a real challenge with writing this piece. Perhaps because I felt the newsletter called for a deeper summary and I can't seem to possibly capture the depth and breadth of what these past years have meant to me but I will give it a go. CeDAR allowed me the opportunity to begin again both

through recovery and through employment. I admitted to CeDAR in 2012, after my third DUI, standing in the rubble of my life that remained. My experience left a profound impression on me with a huge part of that coming from my interactions with staff. I regarded them as real life super heroes because they saw me as an actual person who was more than deserving and capable of leading a meaningful life in recovery. For so long I viewed myself as a failure. To feel their belief in me allowed me a path to move forward. This planted the seed for what was to come as I knew then that I one day wanted to give others what was given to me. In 2016 I was hired at CeDAR and joined the admissions team. I understood CeDAR leadership must have recognized something within me that couldn't be accounted for on a resume as I had no degree or professional work history to that point. In 2017, I was encouraged by leadership to

apply for a new opening; one that had been a foundational part of CeDAR since the beginning but had been vacant for around 2 years. When I was offered the role as Alumni Coordinator, I tried to talk myself out of it. I didn't think I had what was needed of someone to succeed in the role. I was too much of this and too little of that and was close to turning it down. After further reflection, I was able to recall my time at CeDAR, as a resident, when I was newly sober and trying to talk myself out of that also. I recalled how it was the staff who believed in me when I couldn't. In that moment I decided to trust their [leadership] belief in me so I took a leap of faith and accepted the offer. Outside of leadership recognizing they needed someone in the role, there was no vision beyond. There was no template or manual to follow. There was no core group of alumni to be introduced to. This was going to be an organic grass roots endeavor. I had been tasked with creating something out of a lump of clay and with little tools.

I viewed my role more as a representative with you all being my constituents. I serve you and it is my primary responsibility to represent your needs and experiences. With that in mind, the first event I organized was an open-house, I invited anyone to come who wanted to come, and we got to work. We talked about what we had done in the past, what of that was still relevant, where we wanted to go and how we were going to get there. We were bridging the past with the future. From that open house, I identified a core group of alumni who would help me carve out the structure of our program. We diligently worked together authoring a mission, vision and values so it would be clearly defined: who we are, what we do and why it's of value to your personal recovery, why it's of value to our alumni collective and why it's of value to CeDAR as an organization, as they're our stakeholders. Developing a mission, vision and values served many

many purposes; it helped to professionalize alumni services and it offered us something to believe in. That's all any of us want in this life is something to believe in. It gives meaning to the tragic, to the hard, the mundane and to the joy. We believe in this community, in one another and I certainly felt the belief you all had in me as your leader. Community is a fragile thing. A community of recovering addicts and alcoholics with mental health diagnoses and trauma histories even more so. For our community to be sustainable, we simply had to have this as the foundation. I am so grateful we chose be strategic and intentional from the very early planning stages because through the great many changes we've experienced over the years, our culture and identity have endured and will continue to after my departure because it's just who we are.

If I could ask anything of you all, it would be to rally one another to get involved and be of service so we can ensure the services offered through the program can both continue and thrive. We have our core group of alum [Home Base members] who have been the most incredible supports to me throughout the years. They're going to now need their own help and support over the next few months as CeDAR leadership works to fill my role. I care deeply about this community and each of you. We have been through a lot of life, collectively and individually, these past 6 years. We have been through birth and death; losing our peers and loved ones. We have been through marriages and divorces, cross-country moves, life altering events and oh yeah, a pandemic. We have gone through all of this and yet we remain committed to the cause.

I am so damn proud of what we have accomplished together. We have created a full-fledged program that is robust and malleable and comes with its own distinctive philosophy for what a community of recovering people can look like and does look like. When I first informed Home Base members of my departure someone, trying to soothe my ugly-cry, encouraged me by telling me I am leaving behind a remarkable legacy. Over the years, I have assumed this position with great humility, great responsibility and great pride. This program, this community and you all have been my life's work. When I heard that, I felt a sense of completion. I felt as though I finally had given back to CeDAR, what CeDAR gave to me.

My role is so unique in that I get to see you beyond addiction and bear witness to the totality of your journey and who you are as people. Thank you for trusting me. Thank you for letting me in. Thank you for sharing with me some of the most vulnerable parts of yourselves. While life is a constant change, one thing remains the same and that is despite my departure as alumni coordinator, I will always be CeDAR Alumni.

Community is more than a place. Community is more than the people who gather in a place. Community, in its root form, is a feeling. A feeling of belonging, of interconnectedness. A feeling of no longer am I separate from, but apart of.

I love you all.

Residents in need!

With both colder weather and my departure approaching, I am hoping we can stock up the pantry as much as possible. We seem to be most in need of men's clothing and shoes. We will also need adult coats and jackets for both men and women as well as hats, gloves and scarves. There are a few ways you can donate: visit our Amazon Registry and send items directly to CeDAR, donate your GUC (good used condition) items to by dropping off to CeDAR during normal business hours. Please visit Clothing & Toiletry for more information on what is appropriate to donate. You may also donate monetarily to our Venmo: Cedaralumni_2022. Funds will go to purchasing specific items requested by current residents; oftentimes sizes and items we do not currently have in the pantry. Thank you!

Whose line is it, anyway:

I am super excited that in my last week, we are bringing CA back to CeDAR's Campus after losing the beloved White Out CA meeting due to on-going COVID restrictions. CA will be held in the lecture hall on Wednesdays at 7pm starting this Wednesday. This will be a beginner's meeting focused on steps 1-3. It is an open meeting so feel free to invite the broader community. Name is TBD; we will be voting on a name using the ideas you all submitted. I will be there on 11/1 for the first meeting and hope to see you, as well!

So, what's next?

I have accepted a role within the HardBeauty organization where I will be developing and fostering relationships with a variety of facilities around the state to introduce peer support services into their treatment and programming. I am very excited to be commencing this new phase of my life and couldn't be more proud to represent HardBeauty, an organization that wholeheartedly champions recovery and continually positions themselves at the frontier of creating a safer and more equitable environment for all to heal and to recover. Please continue to utilize CeDAR Central to stay current with CeDAR Alumni happenings and ways to get involved and be of service.

Mission: To support and enrich an alumni member’s journey through providing pathways to connection, service and personal development.

Vision: Connecting CeDAR residents to a vibrant alumni community where every member is both valued and treated as a resource allowing for a recovery-centric life imbued with meaning, purpose and joy.

Values: Connection, Community & Collaboration

Battle Cry: We are stronger together